Bittersweet
by IAmMyOwnBiggestMystery
Summary: Parties parties parties. Parties everywhere. Kaldur was getting tired of parties. / One-shot. Angsty with a bittersweet ending. Koy,


Best part of being sick? Eight extra hours to write. This could be seen as the sequel to Vanilla Twilight, but it can always be read separately. This was written especially for Melodic Inferno, who got me into Koy in the first place :)

Pairings: Koy, with Birdflash and a little Speedbuggy on the side.

I don't own YJ.

* * *

_"And I know it's long gone_

_And that magic's not here no more_

_And I might be okay_

_But I'm not fine at all."_

_-"_All Too Well", Taylor Swift

* * *

Parties parties parties. Parties everywhere. Kaldur is getting really tired of parties.

Glitzy dresses and fancy tuxes and vapid masses of people who he doubts really care about the benefit they're attending. He turns his gaze to look at Roy. Roy is freshly shaved and sharp-looking. He has his pretty wife draped on his arm.

Kaldur has no one. Not since Roy, at least.

He sips his drink thoughtfully, searching the crowd for anyone else he knows. Yes, there's Dick with Wally, Artemis talking to Zatanna, and there's Jaime and Bart, sneaking off, thinking they're being subtle. He and Roy used to be like that.

That's how Kaldur's thoughts go lately: _royroyroyroyroy._(With the occasional interlude of _sleep_ or _food_.)

He smiles as his thoughts go back to Jaime and Bart. Young love. How cute. How short. How sad. How sweet. Do they know it won't last? Or maybe they'll be the lucky ones to crawl through love and back. Kaldur sure hopes so.

His small smile is replaced with a frown as his eyes return to Roy and Jade. What is Jade doing here anyway? Isn't she an ex-con?

Then again, so is he. Kind of. He doesn't feel like pondering the technicalities right then.

As if called by a divine force, Roy shows up next to Kaldur with a friendly smile. "Hey," he says, "good to see you! You look great!"

Kaldur resists the urge to punch Roy in the face. Good to see you? Has he forgotten completely how he just up and left him? Has he forgotten the fact that they were in love? That he promised that they would be forever? Did those sweet words mean nothing anymore?

Oh wait. That was six years ago. (He forgets sometimes.)

So he simply says, "Thank you. How are you?"

Roy breaks into a beaming smile and starts talking about Jade. Kaldur just tunes him out, until he hears the words "the baby".

"The baby?" Kaldur says questioningly.

"Yeah, her name's Lian. She's adorable! Looks just like Jade..." and Kaldur is back to tuning Roy out because now there is a fresh wave of pain in his heart where Roy used to be.

A baby? _A baby?_

And there is a baby. Roy pulls out his wallet and shows him pictures of a small baby that is the spitting image of Jade, but with Roy's mouth.

"...and you don't have to accept, but it would mean a lot to Jade and I if you were her godfather."

And that hurts, because now Kaldur can't hate this baby if he tried. So he smiles again and makes an agitated 'excuse me' and runs to the bathroom, because this is all too much and he thinks he is going to vomit.

* * *

_"Roy?"_

_"Yeah, Kally?"_

_Kaldur blushes at Roy's petname for him. "I want to stay like this..."_

_"Stay like what?"_

_"Together."_

_And even though Kaldur's eyes are closed, he can hear Roy's smile. "Me too, Kally, me too."_

He breaks from his memories, feeling someone rubbing comforting circles on his back and he feels the person's breath on his neck and it's so so so painfully familiar.

"Roy?" he croaks out hopefully.

"No, it's Dick, actually."

Kaldur tries not to let his disappointment show as he slowly turns from the toilet to face Dick. "Why are you here?"

"I wasn't about to abandon my friend who was running to the bathroom with a green face, now was I?"

Kaldur manages a small smile. He thinks for a moment. "Hey…Dick…you did leave Wally for a while, right?"

Dick stiffens, but nods.

"But you came back?"

Another nod, then a sigh. "But that was after six months. You and Roy have been separate for six years. And he's married and got a kid now."

He wants to deny it. He wants to say that time doesn't matter. If two people love each other, then they are going to find a way to be together. But that whole 'wife and kid' stuff makes things a bit more complicated.

So he sighs resignedly and heaves himself up off the floor. He lurches a bit, and Dick catches him, which is when Kaldur notices that Dick is almost as tall as him and when did that happen?

Right. Six years. So long.

He straightens his tux and quickly rinses his mouth in the fancy shiny sink. Dick stays in the bathroom, watching him with a slight nervous edge.

They walk out together, Dick leaving him almost immediately for Wally. And Kaldur feels needy now, because he wants Dick to come back. Dick understands.

Suddenly, there's a loud tapping noise and a throat clearing blaring out of the speakers on the walls. Kaldur remembers why he's here in the first place; this is a benefit held by Bruce Wayne as a token of gratitude towards the Earth's heroes. They are all required to come. (And people raise eyebrows but don't question the fact that some of these people don't seem to be in the same social class as Mr. Wayne.)

"Hello?" rang out the voice. Kaldur turns towards the large stage in the center of the room and sighs yet again. Just his luck. Roy was speaking.

"Um…I was told I had to give a speech…so here it is." And Roy is speaking and Kaldur is trying to focus, he really is, but the movement of Roy's mouth is mesmerizing. He only pays attention when he hears his name.

"…and my good friend Kaldur…"

And that's what hurt the most: good friend. Good friend. Good friend. Taunting him. The words cut into his skin like knives.

That's all they are, and all they ever will be.

So when he reaches the end of the speech, Kaldur plasters on a big smile and hides the pain that twists in his gut. And he claps.

Roy comes and sits down next to him after his speech. "I hope I did good up there! I was sweating bullets!"

Kaldur politely chuckles and waves down a waiter for another gin. He has a feeling he's going to need it. "You did great. I had complete faith in you."

Roy looks pleased. "Thanks, Kally!" And the petname slips out and it takes a whole lot of willpower for him to not do something drastic.

But Kaldur's not perfect, so of course he has to settle for reaching out and rubbing Roy's hand reassuringly. "No problem."

Roy looks slightly uncomfortable. Just then, Jade pops up in a v-neck metallic green gown and a beautiful smile. "Roy! I've been looking all over for you! You did great!" And she bends down and kisses Roy right there and Kaldur's tired of restraining himself.

So he does what he always does: he fights. He pulls Jade away from Roy and angrily pushes his lips onto Roy's for one, two, three, four, five seconds, then pulls away. He spits out, "Been waiting all night to do that," and stalks away from the only person he's ever truly loved.

He bursts out into the cold air outside and shivers. What was he thinking? Kissing Roy? How could he be so stupid?

He hears footsteps behind him and this time he won't let his heart betray him. "Dick? Is that you?"

"No. It's Roy."

And Kaldur's heart stops beating in his chest because it's how he always pictured it. Roy running dramatically after Kaldur and begging him to take him back and Kaldur will say 'Of course' and they would kiss and ride off into the sunset. (Okay, so maybe he's been watching a little too much Disney Channel.)

But this sure isn't Disney Channel.

"I am sorry about the scene I made inside."

"S'okay. I just...didn't know you still had feelings for me."

Kaldur snorts. "Was it not obvious?" he says coolly.

"I thought you'd moved on..."

"Never."

And Roy is looking at him funny, like, "Really? You never moved on?" He stares into Kaldur's eyes, the color of granite and just as hard.

"I just wanted to kiss you that last time. I'll be fine now."

And Roy nods slowly and goes back inside, but not before turning back and saying, "You know, you never answered my question."

"What question?"

"Will you be her godfather?"

And Kaldur knows this road to recovery will be a long one. He thinks maybe this baby will help. "Okay."

~fin~

* * *

Well basically in my head Kal and Roy dated for a year in secret, then Roy broke it off. Just a little headcanon of mine. Sorry if you're sad about the bittersweet ending. I don't really love the way it turned out, but, y'know, whatever.

Please review? xx.


End file.
